Session Five: Week 21

Tuesday

Written by Frannie

Tonight was both challenging and encouraging.

We began by working on the first scene of the play. We talked about how many of us will need to learn to “walk like a man” since we’re playing men, and we tried to define exactly what that means. We came up with things like placing our weight squarely on both feet instead of resting on one hip and taking longer, purposeful strides. What it comes down to for us is that we as women apologize for our bodies with our posture much more than men do, and we need to learn to acknowledge and use the power we have.

We spent some time figuring out the entrance to this scene – we want to grab the audience’s attention right away. Some suggested an entrance through the house, down an aisle, but we abandoned that idea after trying it several times – we didn’t think we could get the audience’s attention right off the bat that way. We came up with another solution. We began to try to figure out how not to make the scene stagnant, and one woman who has simply amazing instincts for staging sort of took over, explaining and showing the way she thought the scene would most effectively move. This is the role she’s chosen for herself – to be a director rather than a performer – and she is wildly good at it. Members of the ensemble encouraged and praised her for her input. One longtime ensemble member turned to me and said, “This group gets better and better, every year.”

At a certain point, one ensemble member got up, saying “I can’t deal with this,” and began to leave. As she walked, I asked her if she was okay and if she wanted to talk. She sat down with me, and I listened to her for about 45 minutes or so. She is having a very hard time right now, feeling hopeless, and it helped her somewhat to have someone holding space for her, so I focused all of my energy on our conversation.

When the group realized that I needed to be fully absorbed in this ensemble member, they immediately took over my role as guide and helped the actors in the scene to find blocking and motivation. This is an essential part of our group dynamic – since I was the only facilitator present, but I needed to focus all of my attention on one person, the group has become empowered enough and taken enough ownership of the play to do just fine without my input.

Peripherally, while staying focused on the inmate who needed a listening ear so badly, I heard one new member of the ensemble begin to get extremely frustrated with the blocking process – she had told me before I began the one-on-one that this was challenging for her because she didn’t “have the vocabulary for it.” As she became more frustrated, I heard one longtime member reassure her, saying, “I know you’re frustrated, but try to relax. Blocking can take a long time and it’s frustrating, but we have a lot more of it to do, and you’ve got to stay calm.” After the scene had been more or less blocked, this woman was still frustrated, so the group unanimously decided to take a break.

It is extremely important to our process that we acknowledge when people are having a hard time, honor it, and try to help them deal with it. While we are not therapists, we can hold space for people and encourage them along the way. As I did this for one member of the ensemble tonight, the others did it for each other. This bodes very well for the rest of our process.

Friday

Written by Lauren

We started off today by running act one, scene one. Our Iago tried walking like a man for this scene, made the comment that "walking like a man felt weird," and admitted that she stopped during the scene because it started to make her feel self conscious.

Everyone was anxious to get to work, so as soon as they were done refreshing their memories on that, they were ready to start blocking scene two. A lot of people had ideas for this scene. One idea was the idea that at the end of the scene, the attendants should back away slowly as if they were still anticipating a fight. Most of the group was really supportive of this idea and were ready to try it.

Our Othello had an idea for the scene, too, but wasn't sure if she should say it because everyone on board for the other idea. Everyone encouraged her to share, and they ended up being able to combine the two ideas for the staging.

While we were running these ideas, one woman approached me and expressed a concern. As someone who had been in the military, she told me that the way the officers were having a "stand off" was something that would never happen in that world. While she was saying this, she said that she would also look at the action and decide if she wanted to share with the group or not. She ended up liking what she saw, and even seemed to have a fun time when she stepped in as one of the officers when we ran the scene again.

She had also expressed concern regarding the layout, as we could not see everyone who was on the stage. This was something that was shared with the group, and everyone adjusted themselves accordingly. This woman has a good eye for direction, and I was pleased when she decided to share with the group.

Tonight had a lot of good energy and everyone seemed to have great ideas to share as well as support for each other and other's ideas!

Session Five: Week 20

Tuesday

Written by Frannie

We had another night of making cuts to our script tonight, and although it’s tedious, we had some fun along the way, joking with each other about the process.

We got to a quintessential Iago monologue, and Kyle remarked, “I love this speech.” Our Iago, who is a ruthless cutter of Shakespeare, replied, “Well then, you’re gonna hate what I did to it.” Her cuts were good, though, and well thought out.

We kept to our resolution of not cutting anything belonging to people who weren’t present, although several members of the ensemble told us sincerely that they wanted us to go ahead and cut things. “Whatever’s best for the play,” said one.

One of our ensemble members found it intriguing that Othello talks about women’s appetites during his unraveling, and Emilia talks about men “eating” women later in the play. She was concerned about cutting those lines of Othello’s, but after talking about her discovery being more literary than performance-oriented, she felt better about it.

When people became hesitant about making large cuts, I encouraged them to be brave. I reminded them that we own this script; it doesn’t own us. “I can be brave,” said one woman. “I’m not brave, said another.

“I’ll be brave for you,” said a third member of the ensemble.

And that’s a really important aspect of this process.

Friday

Written by Lauren

Today we started out continuing to discuss possible cuts to the script. Many of the women admitted that they had not been doing cuts on their own when not in class, but those who had seemed fairly engaged in the process at first. During this portion of the session, we discussed how important it is to be familiar with any material that doesn't make the cut since that is still information that can shape how a person plays their character. During cuts, the focus seemed to start shifting and people started to get more and more distracted, so we stopped doing cuts and moved on. Everyone present agreed that, in the interest of time, Frannie should complete the first round of cuts, keeping each person’s preferences in mind.

Frannie took a couple of women aside to do more cuts while the rest of us started to play around with staging strategies. A couple of people at a time would go on stage while those of us in the audience would suggest blocking. We observed how stage positioning can completely change how a scene feels from an audience member's perspective. Discovering different planes of action shifts an audience member's focus and it can completely change the action. It was observed by some inmates that changing levels, such as having some folks kneel or sit on the floor while one character is standing and walking shows the standing actor's dominance over the rest of the actors. Some comparisons were teacher vs. students as well as prison guard vs. prisoners. One woman observed that the person standing looks like they're attentive and "ready to go."

We ended the session working on a specific scene with Iago, Emilia, and Desdemona. Desdemona is openly distraught. We ran through the scene a couple of times. At one point, it was suggested that the woman playing Iago should try playing the scene as if she feels sorry for what she has done to Desdemona. It changed how the scene felt for the actor, and she said she would explore this interpretation more in the future. It was observed that it's interesting how little changes can completely change how a scene is played out. 

Session Five: Week 19

Tuesday

We got right down to the business of cutting our play tonight. We reviewed our cutting “policy” – essentially, if we don’t need it (and if the person playing the part isn’t really attached to it), we cut it. We need to be able to perform our play in about an hour and a half, and that necessitates some pretty ruthless cutting.

One woman, who is in her third year and has grown to love this process, has already made many cuts to her own lines. We applauded her for this and encouraged others to do the same. We decided also to table any cuts that affected people who were absent.

Although some group members were hesitant about this at first, by the time we left everyone was working together to stay involved in the decision-making. This has always been how it goes – we move slowly as new members get acclimated to the process, and then we begin to cut rather gleefully. It’s an important part of our process even if it’s a bit lengthy and repetitive because it is so empowering – we own the script; it doesn’t own us.

This is our story, and we’re making decisions together about how to tell it.

Friday

Tonight when we circled up, one of our ensemble members shared with the group that she had had a very bad day and was upset and anxious about something that is happening in her personal life. Nearly everyone in the group had had an experience like the one she spoke of, and we took some time to offer words of comfort and suggestions of how to manage her anxiety, such as breathing and meditating on a “safe place.”

When she had calmed a bit and said she was ready to work, we did, continuing with our cuts. When she began to seem anxious later, another ensemble member sat beside her and quietly talked to her while the rest of us kept working, respecting the comforting that was happening in our circle.

We continued to work together to sort out the necessary text from text that is repetitive, unnecessary, and/or potentially confusing to the audience. This meant that nearly all of the scene in which Iago jokes with the people waiting for Othello was cut – the word play is complex and will most likely be lost on our audience (perhaps on any audience), and we weren’t comfortable with it, so most of it was cut. “It’s not about us,” said the woman who is playing Iago, “It’s about the audience, and I don’t want to lose them… I want to say what I’m doing, how and why, and I don’t want to give more words than I have to.”

Most of the women are now eager to lighten their workload by cutting their own lines. Nearly everyone is taking the suggestions of the group, while the group is being respectful when people stand their ground about keeping certain lines. A debate broke out about whether or not we need the Herald’s speech that leads into the “party scene,” and we tabled it for the time being so we could move forward. Certain things don’t crystallize until we get on our feet, so we feel all right about making this first round of cuts, knowing that more will likely be cut as we go.

A few members of the group are frustrated by how long this is taking. It’s a very dense play, so it makes sense that it’s taking longer to do these cuts than it has in the past, but I suggested that everyone take a look at her own lines between meetings and make cuts so we can move a bit faster. This suggestion was well taken.

We did a bit of improv, then, returning to an old game with a new twist – playing what is normally a two-person game with three people. This was a lot of fun. We moved on to a really great game that Kyle taught us at the beginning of the year, and it was great to see how comfortable everyone is with it now, and how good we’ve gotten at it.

Session Five: Week 18

We decided to stick to our plan of playing games through the new year. I introduced a new game, with the caveat that it might lead to potential triggers, and I asked if that was okay with the group. First off, we decided that if something came up, we’d let each other know. Then one ensemble member said she was okay with triggers because she feels safe in the group again. Many ensemble members vocally agreed with her.

The first game we played was very silly and allowed everyone to have a good laugh during a very tough time of year. Then a few ensemble members said they’d like to try a game that wasn’t necessarily funny. I then led “Real to Ideal,” a Theatre of the Oppressed exercise in which we look at a real situation, then what it would ideally be, and the possible transitions between the two. Our first situation was a hostile workplace in which a tyrannical boss was lording it over co-workers. An ideal version of this showed the co-workers pointing out their good work to the boss, and the boss smiling and encouraging them. We determined that, in order for the situation to change, the workers needed to stand up for themselves and have empathy for the boss, who wants productivity above all. The boss needs to also have empathy for the workers.

We then decided to try this in relation to Othello (since some ensemble members were itching to get back to Shakespeare). They chose Iago’s “put money in thy purse” monologue, in which Roderigo is won over and thoroughly cowed. What would it take to change this dynamic?

“It would take a change in conscious thought,” said one woman. “This guy is just full of crap, and I’m gonna do what I think is right.” This, she reasoned, would decrease Iago’s confidence.

In the play, we wondered, why can’t Roderigo advocate for himself? Some think it’s because he’s naturally a follower, although others lay the blame on his naiveté. By and large, we don’t think he’s stupid. “He wants something, and Iago can get him what he wants,” said one woman. Some called this a “deal with the devil,” and we drew parallels between this and Emilia’s thought that she would cuckold her husband for the world. The play seems to be full of such bargains.

Then the conversation expanded. “Don’t you think that this setting, with NA and AA, makes you more empathetic to these characters?” said one woman. “The prison journey helps you understand people better – you become self aware.”

There was general agreement. “I’ve been the manipulator and the manipulated. When I was the manipulator, I never thought people were stupid – I just thought I was really good,” said one ensemble member. “This is why I wanted to do Othello,” said a member who was in the group last year, “So people can learn from its messages.”

“Do you guys ever feel bad when you admit you were the bad points of these characters?” said another woman.

“Absolutely,” replied a longtime ensemble member. “I feel so close to Roderigo because he’s ruled by his heart. I’ve been that person, and it’s sad.”

“It makes me aware of how I used to behave, how I behave now, and how I’m gonna be in the future,” said the woman who had posed the question.

“Iago is a sick person,” said another woman. “Maybe he’ll go on a journey of self discovery in prison.”

Another woman had doubts. “This kind of sickness is like TB – you can go get better, but it can hide out and come back, like addiction.”

This led us to wonder about what happens after the play’s end. “You could do a whole play on Iago in prison,” said one woman excitedly. “If Iago went to prison, he’d never change because he’d be like everyone there,” said another.

Our plan for next week is to make the first round of cuts to the play. Some people are eager to do this, and others are nervous. This usually starts out awkwardly and quickly becomes a lot of fun, so I’m looking forward to it. It will be good to get back to work on the play!

Session Five: Week 17

Before we got going tonight, a couple of people spoke with me privately about their feelings after casting the play last week. Some of their feelings were echoed later in the circle by other ensemble members – that the way people made their decisions led to perceived unfairness, and that we need to take a hard look at our casting process to refine it moving forward. I suggested that we process this for awhile and see what solutions we come up with for our year-end wrap up – the rawness that some are feeling now would likely cloud our judgment and lead to conflict.

Before we gathered in a circle, the ensemble member who turned in her book last week appeared in the doorway of the auditorium and beckoned me over. “I’ve been feeling really, really bad,” she said. “I’ve been crying and sad ever since I quit.” She said that she’d called several of her friends and family on the outside to talk it out, and all of them suggested to her that she come back. A former group member who was released earlier this year was particularly strong worded with her, reminding her of another member’s history of not getting the part she wanted three years in a row, and staying with the group nonetheless. This ensemble member hadn’t realized that, and it made her think. “Really, what it is, is I’m a spoiled brat,” she said, smiling a little. She’s decided to stay with the group, believing that this new perspective of not getting exactly what she wanted will teach her something important and give her an opportunity to grow. “Shakespeare has been such an important part of my recovery,” she said. “I don’t think you even understand how much.”

I’m ecstatic that she’s back, and I’m particularly thrilled by her reasoning for returning. Since she joined the group four years ago, this woman has come a long way in terms of her communication and conflict resolution skills, and her openness to others’ feelings and ideas. Although I know she’s learned a lot already, her strength in coming back humbly and open to not having a named role (at least for now) is just worlds away from where she was in the beginning. She shared all of this with the group as well, and everyone seemed happy to welcome her back.

What with some group members feeling burned by casting, and the holiday season being incredibly hard on everyone, we decided to take a break from Othello and play games through the new year. This proved to be a great distraction and a movement toward bonding everyone together again. We laughed a lot, getting better and better at working together in the moment – which is precisely why we spend time learning to improvise. “My head hurts from laughing,” said one woman (Jessica). That’s a rare thing this time of year.

All in all, we seem to be on the road toward having a cohesive ensemble again. Those who, thus far, don’t have much stage time will take a heavy hand in directing, knowing that we generally lose 2-3 people before the performance and they are likely to have an opportunity to step into a named role down the line.